she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I will be naked everywhere
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
how drunk are you?
Several
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
