sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize