Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
All I want is dick and wine.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
