That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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