Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
