This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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