Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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