Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize