just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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