dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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