How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This house was built for laser tag.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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