i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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