You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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