Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
