the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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