I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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