i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
