What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
