Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I need moral support for this bender
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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