i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
