my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
