I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
last night I used snow as a chaser
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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