Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
