If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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