Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
