We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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