Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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