Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
