kristin has been a bad kristin
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize