just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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