I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
