I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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