I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
