Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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