If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
