your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
