just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
