you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
