Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize