You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
