I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
