We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
