The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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