dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
this is an emotional support booty call
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
