Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize