who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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