I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
