Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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