the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize