just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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