Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
