My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
