I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
