Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
