I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
